Making Friends as a Mommy

It's hard to make friends as an adult.

It's even harder to make friends after becoming a mom.

Don't get me wrong. I do have awesome friends. I have a few who I know I can talk to about anything no matter how depressing or strange it may be, who I know would drop everything to drive to where I am if I were in a crisis, and I can trust them completely. These are my dearest friends, my best friends, my soul sisters. I have been at my best and at my worst around them. They mean the world to me and I don't think I would be the same without them in my life. However, there are many many miles between us and that is very hard for me at times. I miss them.

I have a couple good friends here where I live but since becoming a mommy, these relationships have changed. Our schedules are different. Our commitments are different. We still have fun together when we do hang out. But I need more. I think that's why it's hard to make friends as a mom.

My needs and wants regarding friendships have changed since becoming a mom. I love the friends I have but I need friends who have young kids and toddlers, who are completely okay with a toddler wanting my attention while we're trying to talk, who aren't grossed out by spit-up (yes, my daughter still spits up at 14.5 months old) or poopy diapers, who can truly relate to the sleep-deprivation and fatigue that comes with being a mommy. This is not to say that mommyhood doesn't rock (because it does... believe me it does!) but it is not easy. It's fulfilling, wonderful, amazing, life-changing, earth-shattering awesomeness, but it can be pretty challenging at the same time. It's hard to really understand this before you become a mom. I thought I understood but I now know that I didn't. I need some friends who have experienced what I have so far and who can relate as mommyhood continues to challenge me in ways I never realized while also being able to laugh with me about it. Some people may not need this but I know that I do.

Back to the point of this entry... I realized I needed some more friends (notice that I said more since I still want to keep the friends that I already have as well). At first my husband didn't see why i needed this but he supports me 100%. So far I have noticed that making friends as a mommy is tougher than it looks from the outside. This is confusing for me because I was always so good at making friends as a kid. I guess the school environment made this easier. But now I work 40 hours a week, which limits things a little. In August/Sept, I joined MOPS and a couple other local mommy meetup groups in order to give myself a hand. It's been slow going. I've been some great ladies but I haven't been able to make as many meetups as I would like because of my work schedule. I'm trying, I really am - MOPS meetings twice a month, a play date here, a lunch there. I also feel a little distracted when at these meetups. I'm still pretty foggy from not sleeping as much as a needed for so many months. I hope I'm giving these ladies the chance to get to know the real me so that we can make some lasting friendships.

I'm also attempting to cultivate some friendships with moms that I already know and to make sure that I am maintaining those valuable friendships I mentioned earlier. By asking a coworker to go for stroller runs with our young daughters. Or by going to lunch with a mommy friend who I haven't been able to see or talk to as much lately due to recent major life changes. Or by keeping my dearest friends up-to-date on my life and spending quality time with them when they visit.

Only time will tell. Regardless, I know I will always have a few amazing friends, my wonderful hubby, and the best daughter in the world. For this, I am eternally grateful.