"What season to you associate with your children?"
I'm not 100% sure what season since I've only dealt with this for a few months at this point but for now I believe late Spring and mid-Winter. I found out I was pregnant in April and enjoyed some happy times with angel baby. My trip to LA, 2 half marathons, lots of springtime runs, days at the zoo and Connor Prairie... Many good days filled with joy hope. I think back with happy thoughts. I believe I will look forward to this time each year because I will feel connected to her. I imagine Winter will be another story. I was due January 7th so I already find myself dreading it. I find myself fearful of the New Year. What will January bring? Sadness? Longing? Anger? Disappointment? Maybe it will be OK but right now I'm scared. It's hard to believe it's only a couple months away. I have thought about what could ease the fear. Perhaps I will take the day off and spend it with family, maybe plan a special activity for us to do together. I do know that my January angels group has decided to have a gift exchange so that we can have something fun and uplifting to look forward to during a hard time. So we plan to each send a gift to each other, a secret Santa type thing. Something for just us. Something to make bring happiness to our day. We will each open our gift on the due date. I'm not going to lie... the dread is there and I will probably still be sad, but it's a little less intense knowing I will have something positive that day.
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